La Brea Tar Pits

Now I bet you are wondering what that means!
I was feeling bogged down in the tar pits...stuck, icky, slow. Not my best showing.

(I am very happy about the report of stable. Amazing! I spent most of my time with Dr. Kanard stunned. Happy stunned!)

But, then the chemo and all it's glory took over and I got green and cranky and mad and weepy. I talked to Peg Saturday and she got a whole bunch of it over the phone. Bless her heart! She let me "barf on her shoes" and still had positive things to say to me. She is right too, I have to get it out and not just keep it in.

Tears on the outside fall to the ground and are slowly swept away.
Tears on the inside fall on the soul and stay and stay and stay.

By Sunday you would think I would have been pulling myself out...nah! Still pitiful when I went for chai with Sheila...still pitiful when Liz called...still pitiful when Cathy called! Just laying in on my bed wishing the cat would bring me tea or soup...
Pitiful!
Monday-ICK!
Tuesday-ick...not so cranky...
Wednesday-here's hoping!

hugs,
chris

Happy Friday!

STABLE!!!!

Mending in the Mountains

Just back from a great time in Montana. It was the perfect fall weekend-trees at their peak of yellow, sky so blue, new snow on the mountains, warm and sunny....WOW!

Went with pal Karin to a retreat called Mending in the Mountains. It was at Lone Mountain Ranch up near Big Sky. Beautiful location and wonderful folks. It was for women dealing with cancer and put on by the Wellness Community in Bozeman. Such attention to detail and so much care. (http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/montana/) It was a nice balance of cancer info and pampering.

After the retreat I went to visit my friend Kay Van Norman in Bozeman. She took me horseback riding in the mountains. So fun! I had not been on a horse since the 70's. Happy to report that I stayed in the saddle! We had a great visit-she and I always come up with lots of ideas to get ourselves inspired.

Stopped to see dad on the drive home. He is so cool.

Last chemo Sheila came with me and she took some pictures and some video. After watching Crazy Sexy Cancer, I realized that I had no pictures of my oncologist or the chemo room, or the nurses. I have spent a lot of time with them and wanted it documented. I forgot to ask the nurses and Dr. Kanard if it was ok to post to the blog. I will get some up soon (well, it will probably be Des that does it!).

Monday is PET scan day....yikes! Light those candles, say those prayers and cross those fingers! (thanks!)

hugs,
chris

CANCER SUCKS!

In the last month I have found out about several friends or family of friends who have received the dreaded cancer diagnosis. 2 on of them on Tuesday. It is hateful, scary...and there is just no polite way to describe it. CANCER SUCKS!
My heart goes out to them and to those who love and care for them. I always hope that I will have insight now...be able to offer some hope, comfort. When someone hears that diagnosis or is going through treatment, what do we say? Can we offer anything when it is so big?

As someone who has been on the receiving end of the care and comfort, I can say yes. Yes we can offer something. We can offer hugs, an ear, a shoulder; soup, crazy pirate packages, jumbo valentine boxes, notes in the mail, a weekend away, a cozy little stove, cookies, wine, pedicure funds, yummy quilts...
All this adds up to such a feeling of care. All this adds up to strength to take it on for another day.
hugs,
chris

celebration, anniversary, milestone

I began Alimta, a second-line treatment, on October 4th, 2005. On October 4th, 2007 I will get Alimta treatment #34.

That also means, that come Thursday, I will be having chemo treatment #40!

Pretty much kicking ass and taking names!
To what do I owe this success?

• Alimta and Dr. Kanard and the fabulous chemo nurses
• Family and Friends (I would be so sunk without you all)
• Healthy eating (and fun eating!) and my vitamins/supplements
• Keepng POSITIVE
• red wine (Of course!)
• getting out, doing things and having FUN

"Never forget the power of positive thinking. A study reported in Lancet showed that women who have a fighting spirit have a significant survival advantage compared to those who feel helpless and act passively. Best advice: Concentrate on what's good in your life, do what makes you happy and imagine yourself conquering cancer." (from an article: Beyond Chemo)

Go out and celebrate-we all deserve it!
hugs,
chris