5 minutes

Yesterday I wrote a short and gloomy post. Well, not really a post. A whine. Yikes-it is finally summer! No time to whine. Time to remember how to have fun, how to celebrate. We all get so bogged down in being adults with obligations; with change and illness; with overscheduled lives.
We respond automatically with, "I'm too busy." "I don't feel good."
Too busy to enjoy this life? Too busy to celebrate with our family and our friends? How about, too busy to get at the dishes because we have gone out to look at constellations?
Ok, so I don't feel good. I can still go out and sit on my lovely patio. I can still sit in front of the fan and watch the Rockies.

This is from an email column called Daily Om. I have pulled some key parts for us.

Cultivating a happy heart takes no more than five minutes. The resultant delight will be neither complex nor complicated, but it will be profound and will serve as a reminder that there is always a reason to smile.
...The key is to first identify what makes us dizzyingly happy. If we do only what we believe should bring us contentment, our five minutes will not be particularly satisfying. When we allow ourselves the freedom to do whatever brings us pleasure, five minutes out of 14 wakeful hours can brighten our lives immeasurably.

It is often when we have the least free time or energy to devote to joy that we need to unwind and enjoy ourselves the most. Making happiness a priority will help you find five minutes every day to indulge in the things that inspire elation within you. Eventually, your happiness breaks will become an established part of your routine. If you start by pursuing activities you already enjoy and then gradually think up new and different ways to fill your daily five minutes of happiness, you will never be without something to smile about.


5 minutes...
hugs,
chris

old hat

Chemo brain? Green and tired? Or, just old hat?

Not sure what number this last chemo was...somewhere in the 80's. Just a regular old chemo weekend.

hugs,
chris

yikes!

I have been feeling great! If I don't look in the mirror or try to work out, there are days I do not feel sick. It is crazy! A cancer and stage that does not have good stats and 86 chemo treatments...and here I am working, walking, getting ready for grand vacations. I AM SO LUCKY!!

The yikes in the title is because of that mirror and workout part...I have come to realize, and this is not a proud moment, that I am so vain. I talk more about the cancer than I need to, because I am so embarrassed by how I look. I wanted people to know that it was the treatment and the cancer and not my lazy ass. That I was looking old because of the treatment and the cancer. My oncologist would suggest that I look around the chemo room, when I was having a "I hate this, I hate what this is doing to me and my life" moment. Selfishly, I would get a bit pouty about that. She is my reality check and I know what she meant-people are so, so sick. I realize that I need to get a handle on this. (You would think after almost 6 years, I would have a better grip.) I am so lucky.

It is a very different thing to mourn the loss of your look and looks, your lifestyle, your strength, than to mourn and suffer the loss of body parts.

I know that.

Time for me to take ownership of the parts I can do something about and come to terms with the rest. Because Alimta is letting me be here. This is no time to be vain about my butt. Life is for the living...go out and play!!

Have a great weekend!

hugs,
chris