Princess and the Pea

This is a post from Sheila about my new mattress. Thank you to all of you who were part of this. All I can say is, "ahhhhhhhh!"

Guest Blog by Sheila Russell

Once Upon a Mattress...
This is the story of a humble Queen who spends all her days giving to others all throughout the land. She gives love and laughter, tea and tonics, hugs and happiness, joy... and gin. One day as she was gathered around with her ladies in waiting, she sat upon a lovely maiden's pillow top mattress... and she swooned, for she had never before experienced such imperial comfort before!
Her own mattress was filled with lumps and bumps and dated back to medieval times. Alas, her ladies in waiting sent out a decree to all her loyal, royal subjects: "Our fair Queen shall rest upon such a pitiful pile of padding no more!" Everyone throughout the Queendom poured out their hearts and sent their love from far and wide, and they presented their lovely Queen with the royal mattress she so deserves. Unbeknownst to her highness, the mattress is filled with enchanted wishes of warmth, of hope and everlasting love. Her ladies in waiting call that "Queen magic."

Thanks for asking

Several things bring me to today's writing. Yesterday's Leroy Sievers' blog, a meeting with a friend from the old days in Laramie, and three email messages that I received about my blog.

I had lunch today with a woman who was friends with my brother in Laramie in the "old days." Another Laramie friend put us in touch....because we are both in Cheyenne now and because we are both fighting cancer. It was good to talk to someone who is in the trenches. To share some common stories and issues. It was like when I read Cancer Vixen. I could so identify and that brought me some comfort and some good laughs.

I got three wonderful email messages today, regarding my blog. They encouraged me to keep doing it and to write more. They said that it made them think about things, that they went to the sites I mentioned and found them helpful or inspirational, and that it lets folks keep up to date on how I am doing. Thank you for that.

Leroy wrote about how cancer patients get used to the physical parts-pain, nausea, "symptoms of cancer and the cancer treatments that beat up our bodies." But, that it is the mental part that is the hardest.
"You learn tricks to lessen the nausea, but how do you get past the depression, the anxiety, the fear? Those really are more painful than the toughest round of chemo. It can be almost paralyzing sometimes. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, you can feel alone. On a beautiful day, the world can look pretty dark. You want to go do something, even something simple like a short walk, but sometimes making your body take that first step is just too hard."
(npr.org/mycancer)

I am using Leroy to tell a story thatI am not sure I would have, or could have, given a voice. It is a tough topic. I know that it frustrates friends and family that I don't call if I need something...but on those days, it just does not happen. Should. Want to. Don't.

Most days, I do fine, ask for what I need (ok, I getting better!), get out the door and get on with life. But, whew, some days, I can hardly move for the fear or just plain lack of energy to get off the couch.

He ends his blog with: It's easy to say, "Oh, just pick yourself up and move on." Incredibly hard to do sometimes. But in the end, that's what we do. We make our feet move, we force a smile, we push the fear and the dark thoughts out of our minds so we can focus on something else. We persevere.
The medical community is making great strides in cancer research. New drugs, new treatments that will attack the tumors and kill or at least damage them. I have no doubt that in the coming years, there will be all sorts of new things to keep the cancer cells in check. But there's really nothing that can help cage the beast in our minds. Except for us. And that's a lonely fight sometimes, but a fight that we can't walk away from.

I know that some of you will ask then, when I say I am fine and I have a smile on my face and I am getting on with life-is it real or forced. Well, the answer is yes, both. Most days, and I mean most days, I do great, feel good, and am loving life. But, there are those other, darker days, when I either hide under the bed or plaster on a smile and get after it. Know that it is a fight I take seriously. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thanks for asking.

hugs,
chris

another Friday, another day after chemo

I have made notes about things I want to write about on this blog. I wonder if I should write more often, if it is still of interest or helpful to anyone... I read other people's blogs and find such cool things-Leroy Sievers' blog, My Cancer, on his cancer journey, my friend Kay Van Norman's blog called Brilliant Aging. (http://www.kayvannorman.com/) The blog called 37 days, started with the question, "what would I be doing today if I only had 37 days to live?"

I am finding that I need some encouragement and ideas...some inspiration. I am finding it in these postings. When I find them, I like to post them here. It reinforces it for me and I hope it is of interest to you.

Something I read on My Cancer blog was about a special signal or wave for cancer patients/survivors. A post by a reader said "Sometimes the wave can be found on a stranger's wrist. It might be pink, blue, purple, green, clear, or yellow. Simple rubber bracelets with phrases of hope: Courage, Strength, Livestrong. It is often hard to tell if it is a wave from experience or simply solidarity. Husbands wearing pink bracelets, families with yellow Livestong bracelets all tell their own story. Wave their own wave...Whether it be a nod, bracelet or ribbon that shares what we have or what we care about acknowledgement of another human being is sometimes all any of us need."

I know we all wore the braceles faithfully for a bit. I think that it is time to "get 'em out, and get 'em on!" It shows our support, and as the one I wear for lung cancer (white) from www.choosehope.com, says, "Say it, fight it, cure it."

Chemo went well yesterday. I had a good chat with Dr. Kanard. Did not feel as bad at the end of the chemo treatment as I did last time. By the time I got back to Cheyenne I was more than ready to be on the couch, though!

Have a wonderful weekend.
hugs,
c

Happy Friday!

Just a quick note before I head out for the weekend. I loved Leroy's blog today. He was talking about how hard it is for family and friends and how we could not do this without them...

"None of us could get through this without you. Don't ever forget that. We are sorry to place our burdens on your shoulders, to share this sadness that no one should have to experience. But we know that your strength becomes our strength. And that's why I say that my friend is wrong. You all save us every day. Every day."

Oh, so true. I could not be as successful as I am in this battle without my family, without my friends. Your care and strength and devotion are what keep me at it.

Stay warm!

hugs,

chris