Happy New Year!

I am so happy to be able to say that...to be charging into a new year.
Yahoo!

I am making two resolutions:
To quit whining about going to chemo
To always have HOPE

I wish you all a glorious year. May you have laughter, friendship, and hope.
Thank you for all you do.

hugs,
chris

Ho Ho Hope

Cathy came up with that, isn't it great?! It was the theme for this years celebration (still feels weird to use that word) of kicking cancers ass for 4 years.

Hope is the word I have grabbed onto. Hope is what I have grabbed onto. Without it we are sunk. With it, we can live our lives to the fullest. We can get bad news and still dance and sing.

I have hope ornaments, hope decorations, hope jewelry. Shiny pieces to remind me. But, it is the hope that is all ratty and well used, the gift of hope from you...that is the hope that sees me through.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all my lovely friends and family. May you all have HOPE.
hugs,
chris

War on Cancer

On this day in 1971, Richard Nixon declared war on cancer.

Laurie Singer picked up the blog (http://www.npr.org/blogs/mycancer/index.html) when her husband, Leroy Sievers, died after a long fight with cancer. She wrote about the war on cancer:
It's so easy to use fighting words when we talk about cancer. We call it a war against the beast. We fight the disease. We lose the battle.
But you know what? It is a war, one of the longest wars on record. It was declared back in 1971 on Dec. 23. That's the day President Richard Nixon signed the National Cancer Act, "The War on Cancer," and asked for "An appropriation of an extra $100 million to launch an intensive campaign to find a cure for cancer, and I will ask later for whatever additional funds can effectively be used."
He went on to say: "The time has come in America when the same kind of concentrated effort that split the atom and took man to the moon should be turned toward conquering this dread disease. Let us make a total national commitment to achieve this goal."
I bring this up now because, almost 37 years later to the day that this war was declared, there are estimates that close to 12.5 million people will be diagnosed with cancer this year, and more than 7.5 million are expected to die from cancer.
Those numbers are huge. What kind of war are we fighting here? It feels like the beast is on free rein.
I usually hate estimates. Educated guesses. But this is a war that has hit home, and I'm fighting mad.
-- Laurie Singer

When President Nixon and Congress declared war on cancer, lung cancer was the leading cause of cancer death. It still is.

I know that what we need is awareness and education. I have written here before about fund raising for a specific cancer vs. raising money for ALL cancers. The discrepancy that exists...

Let's fight them all, with everything we've got. Throw all the muscle and firepower we are capable of as a nation. Let's fight for every person who has heard, "you have cancer." Let's fight for every family member and friend who has cried alone in the night, terrified for their loved one. Let's fight for every dollar to fund research so that not one person has to go into this battle again.

hugs,
chris

4 years tomorrow, December 20

It has slipped into routine...or so it seems.

I remember the beginning. So much fear and pain and unknown. Long chemo infusions, missed work, bald, rides from friends and family, folks at the house after chemo, hope. #6

New protocol, short infusions, drive myself, working, long dark nights,
tired. #61

hugs,
chris

ok, it is just not in my nature to leave it at that. I was ready to hit publish...could not do it. Not fair to leave everyone with that nasty taste in their mouth. I am coming off a hard week. Let's get that glass half full, shall we?! Hmmm, what a good idea! Everyone...join me tomorrow evening in raising a glass and toasting to HOPE!

From Mad to Gratitude

Another morning waking up MAD! It is a weird time of year for me. How do you mark this? On one hand it is glorious to still be here, to have outlived what they thought....on the other hand, it is the anniversary of a horrible day and time.

I came in and opened my email. I get these daily messages, DailyOm. Well, the universe was not going to let me wallow today. The message: GRATITUDE.

There is always something to be grateful for, even when life seems hard. When times are tough, whether we are having a bad day or stuck in what may feel like an endless rut, it can be difficult to take the time to feel grateful. Yet, that is when gratitude can be most important. If we can look at our lives, during periods of challenge, and find something to be grateful for, then we can transform our realities in an instant. There are blessings to be found everywhere. When we are focusing on what is negative, our abundance can be easy to miss. Instead, choosing to find what already exists in our lives that we can appreciate can change what we see in our world. We start to notice one blessing, and then another.

hugs,
chris

guest blogger

This is the talk that Cathy gave as part of my presentation to the Nursing Ethics class at the University of Wyoming.

November 19, 2008

As I was preparing for today, I couldn’t help but think about the time when Christine and I use to spend this time of year teaching a Decorating through the Holidays class. Today we find ourselves talking about her life as a cancer patient. Believe you me I would give anything to be talking about decorating, but we talk about what we know and now we know about this.

As Christine and I were discussing her talk, I started to focus on the significance of four years which is the length of time that she has been fighting for her life. When I googled four years, some of the obvious connections come up such as the length of time of a presidential term and the number of years it usually takes to get a college degree. Interestingly enough it also happens to be the life of the average iPod. Not that I would equate her life to that of an iPod. And another interesting reference came up that I would like to read.

4 Years on Mars: Rovers Continue to Amaze (By Dave MosherStaff Writerposted: 03 January 200806:28 am ET)
Two robots the size of golf carts were given 90 days to squeeze as much science as possible from the barren, dust-swept terrain of Mars. After that, scientists expected nothing more from them than death.
Nearly four years after their warranties expired, however, the Mars Explorations Rovers (MERs) "Spirit" and "Opportunity" continue to play productively in the red dirt.
"We never thought we'd still be driving these robots all over Mars," said Mark Lemmon, a planetary scientist at Texas A&M University and member of the rover science team. "We joked about driving Opportunity into Victoria Crater, but now we're there, and we're looking at doing even more science. Each day they still work is an amazing one."
http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/080103-rovers-anniversary.html

Each day that Christine still works is an amazing one. She still works in large part because of her spirit, her opportunities, and her team. And as part of the team, I am trusting that she is in good hands with her medical team. When I said to her that the weight of the messages, words and actions from nurses, doctors, and pharmacists is different I couldn’t figure out how to explain that. And then I realized it had to do with trust. I trust and quite frankly expect that those on her medical team are listening and in the moment when they are with her. That they are aware of what she is saying and what she needs. That trust allows me to devote my time as a caregiver to be in the moment with her as her best friend.

There is a saying from a very special young lady, Tinkerbell that we often say to each other – Faith, trust & pixie dust. Faith which is hope, trust which is the belief that she is in good hands, and pixie dust which is magic.

On December 21st we are celebrating Christine’s four year anniversary. We are calling the celebration Ho Ho Hope. And while many thought that her days were numbered, we are celebrating that she is still here. I believe it is because of faith, trust & pixie dust that she is still roving today!