Fresh start

It amazes me how just turning the calendar can provide you with a fresh start.
There were a lot of dark days, pissed off days in 2008. 2009 feels so good! I did not drag the sludge from last year to pollute this one.
Other folks around me seem to feel the same way. Hopeful. Ready to make some changes, to take action.
I know that there will be days, even weeks, when I don't feel so positive and I just want to whine and moan about chemo and being green....wah wah wah! But, right NOW, I feel good and more hopeful. I feel like it will not drag me down as bad this year. That it is SO worth it...

Here's to a grand new year!!
hugs,
chris
p.s. Next chemo days: Thursday, January 22. Monday (I'll tell ya later) February 16th.

feathers

You see signs everywhere.... Feathers keep popping up...

Last week I wrote on my Crazy Sexy Cancer blog:
It has been a difficult time here in our Village. People are hurting. We have lost dear ones. Emily Dickinson wrote a poem...Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all.
(see the rest: http://www.online-literature.com/dickinson/827/)

How about we all find a lovely feather and keep it where we can see it. Offer one to a friend whose hope has slipped.I am wishing you all HOPE.
******
Then, this morning, this was on the My Cancer blog that Leroy Sievers kept. His wife has been writing it since Leroy's death.
Tomorrow will be five months since Leroy's death. And you're still lifting while I struggle through the pain and loss and the emptiness of missing him.
To steal a page from Walt Disney, this community has been my "Dumbo's feather." The cutest little elephant with the great big ears who needed his friends to convince him he could fly. Dumbo had no confidence. His faith had been shattered. But his best friend, Timothy Q. Mouse, and a community of crows gave Dumbo a feather and convinced him it held magical powers. With it, he could soar above the circus crowd.
That feather worked its magic until one day, it fell from Dumbo's grasp. As he plummeted to the ground, Timothy confessed to Dumbo that the feather really wasn't magic at all. He had the ability to fly all along. He just needed a little "lift."
My feather, your lifting, has been put to good use these last few days. And believe me, it's been tested. Just being back at work. So many times wanting to call or email Leroy. It had always been a natural part of the work day.
So I'm still holding on to the feather you've given me. Some day I will be able to put it in a safe place or maybe even pass it on to some one else. But for right now, Dumbo's feather is working overtime and I'm holding on tight.
-- Laurie Singer
***
Something to hold, to look at...reminding us to hang on to hope, to offer hope.

hugs,
chris

Share your gifts

I was reading a message this morning, called, Sangha bulletin board. One of the meanings of Sangha is harmonious community. This bulletin board is a place for folks to post things they have or things they need.
It got me thinking about all we have that we can share and all we know.

I am proposing that we share what we have to offer: knitting lessons or pottery lessons, soap making. Computer assistance, rides. Items to give away, trade. Opportunities to get together (yoga, games, meditation, help cleaning).
We could share this by sending email messages, a coordinated weekly/monthly message. Other ideas?

Winters can be long and dark. We are all making efforts to save money, we are concerned about waste.
Thanks for thinking about this.
hugs,
chris