I was filling out a form for ACS and one of the questions is:
How has cancer affected your life?
Seriously, how hasn't it?*Wrap your brain around the news that you have terminal cancer and an expiration date.
*Then wrap your brain around the fact that this newer drug is working, that stable is good, and the word maintenance is good.
*Settle your heart enough to go on each day, knowing the pain and suffering that this is causing your family and friends.
*Come to terms with looking in the mirror and not looking like yourself.
*Try not to get too pissed every time you go to schedule something and have to work it around a 21 day chemo schedule and 7 days of green.
*Try to keep up some sort of exercise, when you feel like crap, fatigue is major, your feet feel like little blocks of wood and hurt to even walk, and you are wheezing.
*Try to explain to friends and family, and work, the effects of chemo brain. That things just fall out of my head. That I am not being a shit for forgetting, or not responding, or not getting something done. It just is not there.
*Be kind when another person asks if you are on a chemo lite, that it must not be too bad 'cause I still have my hair and I am not puking.
* Try to remember that it is ok to have my own bad days. Just because I have not lost limbs or organs, and I am tolerating this protocol well, I have been doing this non-stop for 5 1/2 years.
It has brought me into the lives of new people, those in the trenches. Thank you for putting it out there.
I have fabulous friends and family. Know that I am grateful to each and every one of you.
Thank you for caring, for standing by me, for lifting me up when I stumble.
hugs,
chris
