Thanks for asking
Several things bring me to today's writing. Yesterday's Leroy Sievers' blog, a meeting with a friend from the old days in Laramie, and three email messages that I received about my blog.
I had lunch today with a woman who was friends with my brother in Laramie in the "old days." Another Laramie friend put us in touch....because we are both in Cheyenne now and because we are both fighting cancer. It was good to talk to someone who is in the trenches. To share some common stories and issues. It was like when I read Cancer Vixen. I could so identify and that brought me some comfort and some good laughs.
I got three wonderful email messages today, regarding my blog. They encouraged me to keep doing it and to write more. They said that it made them think about things, that they went to the sites I mentioned and found them helpful or inspirational, and that it lets folks keep up to date on how I am doing. Thank you for that.
Leroy wrote about how cancer patients get used to the physical parts-pain, nausea, "symptoms of cancer and the cancer treatments that beat up our bodies." But, that it is the mental part that is the hardest.
"You learn tricks to lessen the nausea, but how do you get past the depression, the anxiety, the fear? Those really are more painful than the toughest round of chemo. It can be almost paralyzing sometimes. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, you can feel alone. On a beautiful day, the world can look pretty dark. You want to go do something, even something simple like a short walk, but sometimes making your body take that first step is just too hard."
(npr.org/mycancer)
I am using Leroy to tell a story thatI am not sure I would have, or could have, given a voice. It is a tough topic. I know that it frustrates friends and family that I don't call if I need something...but on those days, it just does not happen. Should. Want to. Don't.
Most days, I do fine, ask for what I need (ok, I getting better!), get out the door and get on with life. But, whew, some days, I can hardly move for the fear or just plain lack of energy to get off the couch.
He ends his blog with: It's easy to say, "Oh, just pick yourself up and move on." Incredibly hard to do sometimes. But in the end, that's what we do. We make our feet move, we force a smile, we push the fear and the dark thoughts out of our minds so we can focus on something else. We persevere.
The medical community is making great strides in cancer research. New drugs, new treatments that will attack the tumors and kill or at least damage them. I have no doubt that in the coming years, there will be all sorts of new things to keep the cancer cells in check. But there's really nothing that can help cage the beast in our minds. Except for us. And that's a lonely fight sometimes, but a fight that we can't walk away from.
I know that some of you will ask then, when I say I am fine and I have a smile on my face and I am getting on with life-is it real or forced. Well, the answer is yes, both. Most days, and I mean most days, I do great, feel good, and am loving life. But, there are those other, darker days, when I either hide under the bed or plaster on a smile and get after it. Know that it is a fight I take seriously. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thanks for asking.
hugs,
chris
I had lunch today with a woman who was friends with my brother in Laramie in the "old days." Another Laramie friend put us in touch....because we are both in Cheyenne now and because we are both fighting cancer. It was good to talk to someone who is in the trenches. To share some common stories and issues. It was like when I read Cancer Vixen. I could so identify and that brought me some comfort and some good laughs.
I got three wonderful email messages today, regarding my blog. They encouraged me to keep doing it and to write more. They said that it made them think about things, that they went to the sites I mentioned and found them helpful or inspirational, and that it lets folks keep up to date on how I am doing. Thank you for that.
Leroy wrote about how cancer patients get used to the physical parts-pain, nausea, "symptoms of cancer and the cancer treatments that beat up our bodies." But, that it is the mental part that is the hardest.
"You learn tricks to lessen the nausea, but how do you get past the depression, the anxiety, the fear? Those really are more painful than the toughest round of chemo. It can be almost paralyzing sometimes. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, you can feel alone. On a beautiful day, the world can look pretty dark. You want to go do something, even something simple like a short walk, but sometimes making your body take that first step is just too hard."
(npr.org/mycancer)
I am using Leroy to tell a story thatI am not sure I would have, or could have, given a voice. It is a tough topic. I know that it frustrates friends and family that I don't call if I need something...but on those days, it just does not happen. Should. Want to. Don't.
Most days, I do fine, ask for what I need (ok, I getting better!), get out the door and get on with life. But, whew, some days, I can hardly move for the fear or just plain lack of energy to get off the couch.
He ends his blog with: It's easy to say, "Oh, just pick yourself up and move on." Incredibly hard to do sometimes. But in the end, that's what we do. We make our feet move, we force a smile, we push the fear and the dark thoughts out of our minds so we can focus on something else. We persevere.
The medical community is making great strides in cancer research. New drugs, new treatments that will attack the tumors and kill or at least damage them. I have no doubt that in the coming years, there will be all sorts of new things to keep the cancer cells in check. But there's really nothing that can help cage the beast in our minds. Except for us. And that's a lonely fight sometimes, but a fight that we can't walk away from.
I know that some of you will ask then, when I say I am fine and I have a smile on my face and I am getting on with life-is it real or forced. Well, the answer is yes, both. Most days, and I mean most days, I do great, feel good, and am loving life. But, there are those other, darker days, when I either hide under the bed or plaster on a smile and get after it. Know that it is a fight I take seriously. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Thanks for asking.
hugs,
chris
posted by Chris in Wyoming @ 1:45 PM
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